Infusing the Philia Spirit

By Jack Styan

"I helped": Most of us can utter these two words truthfully and without much fanfare. It means we made a contribution. We made a difference. Some people have never in their lives been able to say, "I helped."

For our Philia project, being able to say "I helped" is one of our destinations. We didn’t know it was a destination, but it became one after we heard from Amrit.

Most journeys begin with a destination in mind. Our organization’s Philia journey did not. Instead, our Philia journey has provided opportunities for destinations to happen, and it has assisted us in recognizing them as they happen.

In Amrit’s case, the opportunity came by way of a work party to redo the cafeteria at our Still Creek Education Centre. The diverse crew, which included people served by our organization, families and staff, sanded, taped, rolled, brushed and decorated the cafeteria for the better part of two days. The result was a transformation in the cafeteria: not just in its decor, which looked wonderful. But the cafeteria also gained a soul, because of everyone who shared the laughter, the jokes, the beer and the pizza. Everyone came away with two gifts: the memories, and the ability to say, "I helped."

Amrit, as a member of the crew, received a thank-you card. It was the first one in her life. Today, peals of laughter can be heard whenever Amrit wheels by the cafeteria and recalls the fun. And she proudly says, "I helped." When we discovered that’s what Amrit gained from her contribution, it became a destination.

Why did the Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion even begin its Philia journey? There were two reasons. The first was a convergence of opinion about what was the most important work that needed to be done to better the lives of individuals with disabilities. The second was a commitment to some very basic ideas of citizenship and disability that the national Philia Project had expressed.

We have been involved in debating the critical work of the "community living movement" in British Columbia and in Burnaby over the past number of years. It seems that regardless of the composition of the group, the conclusion has been consistent. The most important work is to recognize the contributions that people with disabilities have to offer their communities.

When some members of the board and management team were exposed to the ideas of Philia, the language and beliefs seemed to strike a chord. Communities are not the resilient, hospitable and caring places they once were, but they have the intrinsic capacity to become welcoming and caring places. Many people, not just people with disabilities, feel swept along by the popular values and aspirations of our society, but somehow they are not connected, not grounded, and they lack meaning in their lives.

People with disabilities contribute to the lives of those who get to know them, and often that contribution is one of spiritual value, one that brings connection or meaning to the person’s life.

So, knowing that community change was a priority, and inspired by the ideas of Philia, we decided to begin the journey - to take the first step.

That first step was to introduce the ideas of Philia to a broader audience. Sam Sullivan and Vickie Cammack discussed the ideas of Philia with two groups composed of individuals with disabilities, families and staff. Then we extended an open invitation to join us to discuss further the ideas of Philia and the implications for our association.

A group of staff, family and self-advocates, all of whom had been touched by the ideas of Philia, came together. Over pizza and the course of several evenings, we expressed our dreams and aspirations for ourselves, the organization and the community. We discussed mechanisms of change. The group agreed on two immediate goals. First, in the spirit of Philia, we needed to know each other better in order to be able to work well together. Second, we needed to draft a plan for action.

We agreed to set a day aside to accomplish those goals. Suzanne, a mother and actress, agreed to lead us in a series of theatrical exercises to help us to bond. Our past president, Kevin, offered up his house overlooking Indian Arm for the day. And we agreed that sharing a meal together was also important. At the end of a day of laughter, discussion and good food, we had a direction. We had decided that our task was "to infuse Philia throughout the organization and into the community." We had also agreed on four actions through which we would accomplish this goal: celebration, dialogue, storytelling and hospitality.

From that simple framework came a plethora of ideas: a work party to redo the cafeteria; a family place; a dialogue series for Burnaby; a drumming circle; a storytelling workshop; a page for the newsletter; a transformation in our membership meetings; redecoration of our entranceway; connections with neighbours; a community kitchen; and the list goes on. As these ideas have be implemented, our organization has begun to transform.

The destinations for those involved in Philia are unique to each person in our organization. For some it has meant a shift in values: placing the value of engaging a person with a disability on the same level as completing a report or a proposal. For some it has meant a change in thinking: creating a family place where people can congregate is more important than two offices that become personal territory. For some it has meant a change in the way we do things: organizing a work party instead of engaging a contractor. For some it has meant a change in the focus of the work: placing the value of involving family in a person’s life above anything else that needs to happen in a weekend. For some it has meant a struggle: reconciling the need to implement policy and create uniformity across an organization preparing for accreditation with the desire to be true to people, to seek unique and creative solutions that recognize, honour and value people’s diversity.

As the process evolves, it develops its own meaning for those involved. It means sharing time with each other every second month. It means taking time to check in with each person, respecting the energy, feelings and experiences with which they arrive. It means sharing food with each other. It means celebrating our successes and having fun together. It means valuing the personal and our relationships. It means taking risks together, looking for new and innovative ways to do things. It means being hospitable and caring with each other.

Amrit continues to help. She is a guide for the Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion on its Philia journey. Her welcoming smile and her irresistibly contagious laughter have helped to transform our traditionally dry membership meetings. As a prominent member of our hospitality committee, the message she sends as she greets members at the door is, "This is not just going to be a meeting - this is going to be fun!"

(Jack Styan is Executive Director of the Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion. For more information, contact Jack at jstyan@bamh.org or Vickie Cammack at vcammack@plan.ca, or visit the Philia website, www.philia.ca.)

About the Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion:
The Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion is a multi-service community living organization - one of the largest in B.C. Our goal is to infuse Philia throughout the Burnaby Association for Community Inclusion and into the community through storytelling, celebration, dialogue and hospitality.

Infusing Philia throughout the organization has changed the way we think. Results include:
- a more inviting and hospitable building;
- a greater recognition of people’s gifts and skills;
- new and stronger partnerships in the community;
- more friendships with our neighbours;
- strong people being attracted to work for us; and
- an abundance of creativity, stories and celebration