Live and Learn

Scott Bremner and Kimberlea Galley-Jones program director of The Independence Program  (Photo: Robert Pellegrino)

On my last day as a client at a treatment centre, I was given a sheet of paper with various important phone numbers to call in case I had any problems in the “real world.” That was it. I was on my own at 21.

I could have panicked, but I didn’t. Two years earlier, I’d participated in a great life skills training course that helped me prepare for that day.

I was born in 1985, 28 weeks premature. Two months later, doctors diagnosed me with spastic diplegia, a type of cerebral palsy. Now, I use a manual wheelchair to get around.

I usually don’t let my disability prevent me from being the best I can be, but in 2004, when I was 19, I let it influence a life-altering decision. I was finishing high school and was excited about starting my post-secondary education. I was confident that I could handle the workload at any college or university since I was a top student. However, I was nervous about campus life and living away from home, so I turned down letters of acceptance from top universities, choosing instead to live at home and enroll in a local college. I chose to play it safe. I was all talk, no action.

Then, in the summer of 2004, I participated in The Independence Program (TIP), a program offered by Bloorview Kids Rehab for young people with physical disabilities. It was held at Pitman Hall, a student residence at Ryerson University in downtown Toronto. (This year’s session was in August.)

I shared a suite with four other teens. The program only lasted three weeks, but it was life-changing. While in that dorm, I fell in love for the first time, cooked my first meal and learned to navigate the streets of Toronto. I overcooked dinner on more than one occasion, stayed up way too late one night talking to my then-girlfriend, and almost missed the Wheel-Trans accessible bus a few times. I was becoming an adult. It was bliss.

Bloorview has offered the program for 35 years, and it has helped an estimated 400 young people with disabilities make the transition into adulthood. TIP accepts 12 to 15 youth annually. The fee is $1,000, and funding assistance is possible.

During the three-week session in Toronto, we took part in workshops about street safety, street mobility and community safety. This prepared us for City Survival, a chance to try out our know-how. I approached it like a test I had to ace. I’d never failed an exam and I wasn’t going to start with this one!

The challenge was to find my way around on my own to complete a task, with program staff shadowing me at a distance. I admit, I was scared about both outings I took, but they turned out to be two of the best days of my life. For Day 1, I planned a trip to the Royal Ontario Museum with my then-sweetheart. The night before, I phoned Wheel-Trans for the first time. I didn’t know the answers to half the questions they asked me — answers I got by using maps and asking staff.

On Day 2, I picked up The Da Vinci Code at a bookstore and treated my staff shadow to a drink at Starbucks. I’d already learned about banking and how to act and handle myself in public, so I had no fear by this time. I did everything on my own and I felt powerful, like I could do anything! In fact, I felt confident enough to move into a student dorm for my second year of college.

I was curious about what other participants thought of the program. I talked to Gabriella Carafa, 19, who attended TIP last year. She had never worked with attendants before the program. (Since 1994, TIP has had attendants supplied by The Gage Transition To Independent Living, a program run by West Park Healthcare Centre at an accessible apartment complex in Toronto for people ages 18 and up to learn life skills. Many TIP grads apply.)

Carafa used to rely on her mother for cooking and cleaning. At TIP, she discovered what she could do on her own. “I’m more comfortable with myself and my disability after TIP,” she says. “The program opened my eyes to possibilities for independence that I had not even thought of. It gave me the skills to do what able-bodied people my age do, and it made me believe that I, too, can lead a ‘normal’ self-fulfilling life.” Carafa will begin her second year at York University this fall. She lives at home and has applied for accessible housing.

Carafa's mother, Marisa, has also seen a change in her daughter. “She doesn’t always wait for me to just do things — she does them on her own when she can. When she can’t, she will explain how she tried to and ask for assistance,” she says. Marisa believes the program “was a gift for my daughter and our family, so I would recommend this program to anyone.”

TIP is important not only to teens and their families, but also the people who run it. “We have an amazing group of staff, and I can honestly tell you that every single staff person that does TIP does it because they want to. They want to be there, they love the program, they believe in it. They really enjoy assisting youth to gain the skills that they do during the program,” says program director Kimberlea Jones-Galley, who has been involved with TIP since 1991 and has been its coordinator for about a decade. “The biggest thing I get out of being involved in TIP is connecting with youth who come from all over Ontario to downtown Toronto, and watching the group grow and learn and gain confidence over the three-week program.”

Gabriella Carafa believes that parents who are considering sending their teen to TIP or a similar program should know that “there’s something to be gained for everyone who goes. As long as you have an open mind and a willingness to experience new things, you will walk away from the program a changed person.”

As for me, I’ve graduated from college and I’m living at home with my mother. I’m confident about dealing with daily tasks and accomplishing my goals. I hope to get my own apartment and driver’s licence soon. The best tips I can give to anyone with a disability moving anywhere are: Trust yourself, trust the people around you, and always ask questions.

Scott Bremner is a freelance writer in Oshawa, Ont. He can be contacted by email at bremner.scott@yahoo.ca. For more articles about youth issues, please visit www.abilities.ca.

For information about TIP, e-mail kgalley@bloorview.ca or call 416-425-6220 ext. 3645 or 1-800-363-2440 ext. 3645. For information about The Gage Transition To Independent Living, visit www.westpark.org  and choose “Patient Services.”