Dancing Beyond Barriers

By Christine Karcza

Life is full of barriers – big ones, little ones, everyday challenges and those requiring life-altering decisions. As a woman with a disability, I come across barriers every day – both physical and attitudinal. How we respond to them influences whether we achieve our goals and live our dreams. Life is also about choice: how we think, how we act, what we say and what we believe. Our thoughts become our reality. Through coaching and life experiences, I have learned many tips that have enabled me to break through those walls – particularly in two of my own passions, dance and adventure travel. The following steps help me achieve my goals, and will also help make your dreams a reality.

Have a clear vision about your direction. Create a picture in your mind of what your world would look like without a particular barrier. Describe your activity in every detail – for example, what you’re wearing, what you’re saying and your surroundings. Note these in a journal.

Ask “What’s stopping me?” Don’t jump to solutions. Take time to answer these questions: “What’s stopping me?” and “What is the cause of each barrier?” Listen to feedback and observe yourself and the world around you carefully. What patterns do you recognize in what you say and do that might be limiting your well-being? What new behaviours do you want to practise?

One of my dreams was to spend time at the top of a mountain. What stopped me was that with two canes, I was unable to hike the distance and it was too far and steep for me to be piggybacked or hauled to the top. With great discipline, I saved enough money to hire a helicopter to fly me up Jumbo Pass in British Columbia. The pilot dropped me off in front of a cabin, where I spent two days surrounded by beautiful mountain peaks.

Speak your vision. Carry an index card with your vision, and keep one at your desk, on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror. Share your vision with others, particularly those with whom you would like to make a request for support. The more you “speak your vision” the more real it will become. Show your passion!

Find creative solutions. Identify what is required to overcome each barrier – expertise, time, financial resources, shared responsibilities for solutions. Be open to solutions from unexpected places. Someone you may not have thought of may have just the right answer for you. Be bold. Try new things!

During a visit to a small town in
northern Labrador, I could not walk the

distance required for the tour and there were no motorized vehicles. It wasn’t looking very good until another traveller asked, “How do you feel about wheelbarrows?” And that was my mode of transportation through a unique community.

Build a support team. Gather people around you who can make your vision happen – those who support you, provide reality checks, challenge you to stay on your path and possess the expertise you need. Consider consulting a life coach to help you assess and plan (for more about life coaches, see “Hired Help,” right). Move away from individuals who drag you down. Listen to your team and respect their needs. When asking for support, be clear about what you need, how much time is needed and what is required. Clarify fees, if applicable.

Practise, practise, practise. It takes six to eight weeks to turn a behaviour into a solid habit, so continuing practise is essential for success.

I am still struggling to make my dance stretches a part of every busy day. Without them, my performance suffers. My “team” is helping me come up with ideas (exercising to music, creating a check list, splitting the required time) so it will become part of my non-negotiable routine.

Have personal accountability. Develop a plan that includes criteria for success so that you’ll know when you have achieved your goal. Track your priorities – build in time to do a reality check and ask, “How am I doing? Am I on target? What’s going well? What do I need to do differently? Are there any new roadblocks?”

Adjust your plan, if required. And don’t forget to take care of your body – exercise, make time for personal reflection, eat properly and sleep the hours you need.

Share the excitement of success. Celebrate small steps. Tell others about your success so you can build other champions and keep the momentum going. Be generous in your praise of people who have helped you.

Recognize that you’re on a journey. Once you reach a certain plateau, be prepared to start all over again with a new or evolved vision. As American author Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The great thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.”

On with the Show!

I love to dance, and these steps helped me realize my dream. When I turned 40, I had to start using two canes because my left leg stopped taking weight. I still wanted to dance. I wanted to dance from my soul, but without canes or a chair.

I also wanted to use dance to talk about disability differently. My vision was that I would walk on stage, put down my canes and, with the help of three dancers to hold me up, I would perform and then tell the world that it’s okay to be different – at the core, we are all the same, and we all have dreams.

I needed music, dancers, a choreographer, a rehearsal space, a costume and the knowledge that I had the physical stamina to be on stage. When I described my vision to those who would listen, volunteer dancers appeared, rehearsal space was found, a CD of possible music arrived, a choreographer offered her time and we began testing my strength and movement.

Rehearsals began and we tackled the challenges. For example, how could I do a circular turn? The creative answer came from one dancer, who said, “Put both arms out and we’ll turn you on your strong leg.” And it worked!

The team rehearsed once a week for 12 weeks to perfect two and a half minutes of dance. A coach fine-tuned my speech delivery and a glamorous costume was found. I kept my body in shape, kept us on track and ensured that we were ready to perform.

At that time, I was working for Royal Bank. Our performance, in front of 700 Royal Bankers, earned a standing ovation. The audience response afterwards indicated that many negative attitudes toward people with disabilities had shifted to positive. We had achieved our goal!

The bar had been raised on the dance vision. Instead of volunteers, I brought professional dancers on board. I had my own song written, called “I Can Do This,” and hired an event manager and sound engineer to assist with performance requests. The dream became a reality.

The dance demonstrates that, even though we all have barriers, no matter what they are — fear, a disability, old behaviour patterns, society’s stereotypes - we can find ways to overcome our barriers and achieve our life goals, whether they be personal, professional or in an organization. I can do this, and so can you!

Christine Karcza is a seminar leader, trainer, motivational master, coach, innovator and an advocate for persons with disabilities. She is also a dancer with a difference, a woman with a disability who uses dance to demonstrate passion, possibilities and the power of overcoming barriers. Contact Christine to help you create an “I can do this” attitude and culture at www.icandothis.ca.


HIRED HELP

Life coaches help people make vital changes. When choosing a coach, look for an individual who:

* Generates mutual trust and respect * Develops a coaching agreement that outlines expectations and achievable goals
* Demonstrates emotional empathy and an optimistic attitude
* Creates a safe environment for conversation
* Offers insights, constructive feedback, support and expertise
* Supports you in exploring possibilities to create change, through developing new approaches, strategies and action plans
* Probes opportunities for learning, even if they may be uncomfortable to you
* Teaches new skills
* Allows termination of the coaching agreement at any time


TAKING ACTION

Christine Karcza offers these tips to help people overcome barriers.

* When developing your “To Do” list, also write a “Stop Doing” list.
* Ask “what” and “how” questions that contain “I.” What should I do differently? How can I improve the balance in my life? What help do I need today? Avoid “when” and “who” questions that point fingers.
* Choose one or two priorities that are within your control. Don’t try and change the world all at once – it has to be one step at a time.
* Stay focused on your vision.
* Keep a journal of your experiences and feelings. Your vision and action plan will have greater clarity.
* Stay positive during the “bumps.” The best learning often comes from mistakes.
* Be flexible.
* Laugh and have fun on your journey.
* Target a few early wins. Momentum keeps the success growing.
* Take risks! Be courageous! Trust your intuition!



POWER READS

These books offer helpful advice and inspiration to make life changes.

* QBQ! The Question Behind the Question – What to Really Ask Yourself, by John G. Miller (Putnam, ISBN: 0399152334)
* Say It Right the First Time, by Loretta Malandro, PhD, particularly chapters 7 and 8 (McGraw-Hill, ISBN: 0071408614)
* Learned Optimism – How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, by Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD (Vintage, ISBN: 1400078393)
* What’s Stopping You? – Living Successfully with Disability, Mark Nagler, PhD and Adam Nagler (Stoddart, ISBN: 077376027X)