Lorri Benedik and her son Zach, in Lac Rond in Ste Adele, Quebec.
Two years ago, when my son, Zach, was about to turn 10, I looked into registering him for four weeks at a highly recommended summer day camp. Zach has an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and copes courageously with challenges, which are often perceived as personality quirks. He's also extremely sweet and bright, and my husband and I wanted him to enjoy summer camp like any kid.
The camp's location was perfect - it was just a couple of kilometres from our home in Montreal. The schedule fit well with our other vacation plans and would allow Zach plenty of time to adapt.
I read the camp's brochure with interest and was pleased to learn that it provides plenty of supervision, including a senior counsellor, a junior one and several CITs (counsellors-in-training) for each group of about 15 kids. For much of the day, the children play non-competitive sports and games. Each week features an intriguing field trip, and they swim every day, weather permitting. It sounded perfect- except for one item: a sleepover in the chalet of the park where the camp is based.
At first, I thought, what kind of mother had I become, that I would consider leaving my only child (with a disability) overnight in the middle of the wilderness to be mauled by ferocious, rabid chipmunks or taken by dingoes?
Of course, I'm not the first mom to have butterflies about sending my child to camp, even if it is designed specifically for children with disabilities. There are several such camps available. The March of Dimes' Conductive Education Camp (CE) (www.marchofdimescanada.ca), for example, is an educational approach to rehabilitation designed to benefit individuals with neurological conditions including cerebral palsy and head injury. Conductors who have completed a three- to four-year training program help campers gain skills to improve mobility and self-confidence.
Rachael Skinner, a conductor for the CE Program in Halifax, Nova Scotia, says feeling trepidation is not uncommon. "At our summer day camp, parents don't have to worry about their child being away from home for the first time. However, there are still separation issues for both parents and children."
I talked to other parents about their experiences. Montrealer Kathy Smith* describes her 11-year-old son, Jack*, as "an articulate, funny, redheaded, freckled young boy with ADD and mild Tourette's syndrome." The summer he turned six, she signed him up for a performing arts day camp. "He had always been a bit of a ham, so I thought this would be perfect for him," says Smith. Jack, too, had been keen. But, within a few days of the beginning of the camp, he was miserable and refused to participate. It turned out that the kids were required to follow short scripts and to follow signs to get to different activities - Jack was not yet a reader.
Smith found another spot for Jack at a YMCA day camp. "The staff members were superb with children with disabilities," says Smith. "I suggested they place Jack in a group of slightly younger kids, and they agreed." He was much happier with campers who were closer to his maturity level rather than his age. And, the Y camp was all about having fun, while the drama camp had been geared to producing a quality stage performance.
Between Friends Club for youth with disabilities in Calgary (www.betweenfriends.ab.ca) offers a day camp experience for young people from five to 20 years old with all types of disabilities. Suzanne Jackett, executive director, explains that their Camp Bonaventure is an outdoor, challenge- oriented camp where campers with disabilities try horseback riding, wallclimbing and a variety of water activities. They also participate in games and crafts and attend special outings. Once during every two-week session, campers stay overnight in tents. "I believe that patience and encouragement are the keys to helping reluctant campers give themselves to the camp experience and get the most out of it," says Jackett. Between Friends Club also offers integrated camp opportunities in collaboration with YMCAs, leisure centres, post-secondary schools and the local science centre. By choosing one of these options, campers with disabilities can explore specific activities of interest while socializing with their typically-developing peers.
"Some children thrive in integrated environments, while others find this very stressful," said Jackett. "I believe that life would be better if we were all able to get along and participate together, but unfortunately we are still a long way from being a totally inclusive society."
The camp experience does not work for every child with disabilities. Several years ago, Bernadette O'Neill became livid after sending her daughter, Sarah, then seven years old and not yet diagnosed with attention- deficit disorder (ADD), to a day camp near their home in Pierrefonds, Quebec. "My daughter came home the first day saying that some boys had teased her and chased her around with pushpins," says O'Neill. A few days later, the same boys took Sarah's eyeglasses and wouldn't give them back. But what caused O'Neill to pull the plug on the experience was the day her daughter was left behind at a community swimming pool. Her group had travelled before realizing they were one head short. The counsellor blamed Sarah for "not staying with the group." Since then, O'Neill has only sent Sarah to Brownie camp, where she enjoyed being with other girls she knows well and their moms.
Kevin Troake is the director of Camp Kennebec (www.campkennebec.com), a residential camp for kids with ADD, AD/HD and behavioural challenges in Arden, Ontario. "Many children come to Kennebec after having a less-than-joyful experience at other camps," says Troake. "Parents learn about our individualized program and look over our brochure or DVD with their children. Before the child comes to camp we like to get to know the whole family. A visit to our camp is ideal and allows the prospective camper to see the place where they will be spending two or four weeks. We can also arrange a home visit."
Troake explains that Kennebec staff are chosen based on their working experience with kids with disabilities and have done post-secondary studies in this field. Before the kids arrive at camp, counsellors attend workshops and meet with behavioural consultants and therapists to learn techniques and strategies to work with specific campers.
Many provinces have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to day and residential camps for kids with disabilities. Choosing the right one can be time consuming for parents- but it's worth the investment.
As for Zach, I'm happy to report that his two sleepovers at day camp went very well. He had a blast, and has been thrilled to flaunt his newly acquired independence, proudly telling family and friends about the experience. He's even asked my husband and me to consider sending him to sleep-away camp next summer.
I learned that it's okay to let go of my little boy- just a bit. When Zach was leaving for his first overnight stay, he gave me an extra-long hug, treated me to some precious and rare eye contact, and said, "Don't worry, Mom, you'll be okay."
Lorri Benedik is a freelance writer in Montreal.
* Where noted the names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.