Taking a Bit of a Philosophical Look at Belonging

By Brian Smith

I was browsing around the internet this afternoon looking for something... not sure what that quite was, but I ended up spending, probably a bit too much, time at a site by the name of Dyske.com.

There are several interesting articles - they refer to them as White Papers - in and around the concept of belonging. So, I thought that I would share with you my impressions and the links to the full articles to see for yourself.

The first one that I came across is called A Sense of Belonging, written by Dyske Suematsu. Fitting for our work, I thought to myself, 'let's have a read.' Here's a quote that I think captures the article's tone,

"Our 20's are, in many ways, about a sense of belonging. Part of the process of defining who you are, is to find where you belong. It is ironic that after spending a whole decade trying to find your identity by struggling to belong somewhere, you find that to know who you truly are, is to know that you don't really belong anywhere. That is, you are you; any differences or similarities that you see are only in your head. Anyone can be similar to you or different from you depending on which aspects you focus on... In my 20's, that is all I did. Around and around, until I realized that the pursuit of the sense of belonging was what was making me feel lonelier."

The author, makes some very interesting points for us to ponder. I am inclined to agree that we are subject to a cycle of self-discovery that includes moments of loneliness as well as strength through a perception of independance. I also agree that it is, at least ironic, often times even paradoxical that we yearn for a genuine sense of belonging, yet will not compromise our individuality. Where I think that we can come to terms with this "problem" is through the arugment that we only really know ourselves because we know we are not other people. I only learn about myself because I can compare myself to you. Recognizing how I am similar or differ from you informs my self-knowledge. So, back around we've come to the fundamental human need for relationships.

The author explores this dynamic cycle further in his artcle, Imaginary vs. Natural Relationships.

Admittedly though, there is an undercurrent of privalege in each of these arguments. Those of us whom are healthy and/or able bodied and/or have not be labeled and thus marginalized, may have an easier time moving n and out of realtionships. Often, people who live with disabilities do not have the same privilage of choosing their relationships based on their interests, characteristics and commonness.

So, back around again, I suppose this is more or less a re-iteration of our argument for the existence of The Belonging Initiative:
1. Too often, people with disabilities, among other marginalized people, lack the privalege of mutually beneficial (reciprocal) relationships of their choosing.
2. As a result, their pursuit of self-discovery is compromised, as is all those people that aren't in realtionship with persons living with disabilities.
3. Therefore, it is in the interest of all people to nuture belonging initiatives that include as many people whom are unique, as possible.

Let me end this post with a reference to another interesting article by the same author, entitled, A Recipe for Good Friendship. It too is worth a read.